JK's 4th Day Off!
by Smeargle Spence
Summary: We've all been waiting for this... enjoy!


J.K.'s Day Off 4!!!!!  
  
Okay, I'm thinking J.K. has too much time on her hands. Shouldn't she be writing the 5th book instead of taking days off? I mean, she knows that my stories are weird, insane, crazed, wacko, odd, strange, confusing, etc. But hey, that's why I write them!  
  
J.K's Day Off 4!!!!! (Really!)  
  
Like I was saying, J.K. really needs to work on that fifth book. I'm literally (not literally) dying of suspense! She gave us the title, but no release date? What kind of author is she?  
  
J.K's Day Off 4!!!!! (Really Really!)  
  
Anyway, I hope it's worth the wait. It had better be. I wouldn't want to wait two or more years for a really crummy book. So what if Voldie—  
Voldie: AHEM!  
—Voldemort is back? I mean, I can do anything like that whenever I want! She had better hurry up with the story.  
  
J.K's Day Off 4!!!!! (This is getting ridiculous.)  
  
I'll sing a song! Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are. Cool! I'll do it again! Twinkle—  
  
J.K's Day Off 4!!!!! (I really mean this.)  
  
J.K.: I need some time off. Smeargle Spence! IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE REST, READ THE OTHER RETELLINGS OF WHEN J.K. TOOK THE DAY OFF, ALSO BY SMEARGLE SPENCE.  
  
Herm(ione): Hey, I wonder if that Smeargle Spence- whatever guy is gone? I mean, he hasn't messed up the world for a long time! I almost miss him...  
Me: Really? Aww, how sweet!  
All (except Herm): Aww, how sweet!  
Herm: Why, you little @#@&%) $$#*$&*!  
Me: Naughty, naughty, Hermione. Go to your room!  
*two cheese guards pop up and take Herm away into the door that mysteriously appeared*  
Me: Hey! Cheese!  
Ron: Cheese!  
Neville: Cheese!  
Harry: Cheese!  
Sirius: Cheese!  
Malfoy: Cheese!  
Snape: Cheese!  
Lucius Malfoy: Cheese!  
Dumbledore: Cheese!  
Llama: Cheese!  
Cow: MOOOOOOOOO!  
Llama: Llama sound!  
Rasberry: TTTTHHHHPPPPPTTT!  
Cheese: Moo!  
Me: That's odd. Oh, well!  
Llama(on PostIt Note): Wahooo!  
All: *get on PostIt Note*  
Harry: Onward, men!  
PostIt: ....  
Harry: Onward, ye scurvy paper!  
PostIt: ....  
Harry: Hast thou lost thy sense? Movest thus onward hither to!  
PostIt: ....  
Harry: .:¡Sirius, yo piense mi Corbeta hay ha sido correr concluido cerca un enojado cerdo!  
PostIt: ¡Verdaderamente! "¡Dejado nos revisar lo fuera!  
Llama: Really? Tell me, PostIt, what are the troubles you have been experiencing?  
PostIt: Well, I've been feeling kind of yellow...  
Llama: I see. Tell me, *pulls up piece of paper with picture of Harry P. on it* what does this look like?  
PostIt: Hmmmmmm... Oh, I know! It looks like a disgusting, ugly ink blot!  
Llama: Very good. Now, what does this look like?*pulls out picture of cheese* PostIt: ....  
Llama: Oh, yeah. I just remembered that PostIts can't talk. Stupid me. *pulls out hammer made of pennies, hits head with hammer, is knocked out*  
Cheese: Where's the cream filling? *runs into oven, bakes self*  
Me: Ugh. Baked cheese.  
Herm: Oh, Smeargle Spencey Poo!  
Oven: DING!  
Cheese: I'm done!  
Me: Okay, that wasn't as bad as I imagined it. At least you didn't call me—  
Herm: Shnuzzy-poo-sweetums-googly-fluffy-pie! Come here!  
Me: *faints with frustration*  
Twinkle, twinkle, little star!  
*realizes story can't go on without me, and un-faints* The Llama Who Was Waiting To Be Called On To Star In Another One Of My Stories: Is that you, Eliz— I Mean Uh...Hermione...Yeah,Uh...Hermione...Yeah,That's Right?  
Eliz— I Mean Uh...Hermione...Yeah,Uh...Hermione...Yeah,That's Right: Yes, it is, you ignorant excuse for a llama. Go away, and Smeargle Spence, please stop using me in your stories! Just replace me, "Eliz— I Mean Uh...Hermione...Yeah,Uh...Hermione...Yeah,That's Right" with Hermione! That way, no one finds out my secret identity as—*dramatic music plays* LLAMA GIRL LADY FEMALE HEROINE WAITRESS COFFEE-SIPPER PERSON!  
Crowd: *gasps*  
Me: *gasps*  
Herm: *gasps*  
Cheese Guard #1: Hey, no gasping, young lady!  
Cheese Guard #2: *takes bite of sandwich*   
Cheese Guard #1: Hey, that smells good. What is it?  
Cheese Guard #2: Ham and cheese.  
Cheese Guard #1: Hey, you're a cannibal!  
Herm: This is stupid. Why don't I just pick up a pen and paper *pen and paper appear in Herm's hands*, and write that I am flying on a PostIt Note with my friend Al the Cheese Master? *writes that she is flying on a PostIt Note with her friend Al the Cheese Master*  
Me: Hey! This will be interesting!  
Herm: *starts flying away on a PostIt Note with her friend, Al the Cheese Master*  
Me: This is getting too long. What the heck? Who cares about how long it is? If it is stupid, people will love it!  
Hamster from nowhere: CHEESE! *jumps at cheese guard #1*  
Cheese Guard #1: Hey! No, wait, please! I have a wife and three kids!  
The Llama Who Was Waiting To Be Called On To Star In Another One Of My Stories : Odd. I thought hamsters only ate veggies.  
Hamster: I DON'T! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM A RARE CHEESE HAMSTER!*jumps on cheese guard #1 and devours in three seconds* NOW I WILL EAT YOU! *turns to cheese guard #2, who is still enjoying his ham and cheese sandwich* *leaps on to cheese guard #2 and devours in three seconds* OH, I FEEL HORRIBLE! WAIT A MINUTE! I'M LACTOSE INTOLERANT! HELP ME! *vanishes with a burp*  
Herm: *leaps out of bedroom and falls into J.K.'s hands*  
J.K.: AYYIIEEE! Smeargle Spence!  
Me(sheepishly): Yeah?  
J.K.: You didn't cause any destruction or total nonsense!  
Me: Oh, I can change that! *types quickly, and an ballpoint pen falls out of the sky, lands on Herm's head, blows up, and a koala eats the beans that are left over* How about that?  
J.K.: Better. But now, I think I will work on Order of the Phoenix. You have to work on Dark Corridor, don't you?  
Me: Oh yeah! *runs off*  
THE END 


End file.
